This is the start of something new. I have struggled with emotions for a long time. I stuff them with food and for the most part don't even acknowledge what I am feeling.
Today I begin fasting. I don't know exactly what that is going to look like, but for the first couple of days at least it will mean no food at all. I will drink black tea/coffee but that's it. I do know that later today I have to try a piece of red pepper... and I can't get out of that.
The purpose of this blog is to record food, write out prayers, and discuss my feelings. I may do several short posts a day, to acknowledge my emotions and talk to God about them. It would be in my best interest to do it that way.
I am hoping to stick with this because the benefit will be incredible.
On the weight side of things, I am up twenty pounds since the middle of November. Two months, twenty pounds. It is so easy to be condemning of myself. But, I know exactly what got me to this place - once choice at a time. One mouthful at a time. One binge at a time. This fast will kick start me to get back on track and lose some of the weight I packed on.
I really don't feel good about myself right now. I am disappointed because I worked so hard to get to where I was, then I go and ruin it by eating junk food, things that are not good for me, and too much food. I am not too far gone that I cannot be redeemed, but I cannot redeem myself. I need the power of God, the constant empowerment of the Holy Spirit, and the amazing grace of Christ. Together, I can break this food addiction.
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